Tango Echo Alpha Romeo ' Sierra

Dear Asylum,

i can be very greedy sometimes or maybe all this time. the things i had were never enough to satisfy my needs and desire. why is it that i have to be all sad and moody? why do i have to feel so down when instead i can be so happy... why??

i was once possess a heart which is hard like a stone and strong as a steel. but since i met her everything changes.

my heart went through a drastic change which my mind is having difficulty of coping with any situation

especially emotional situation.

but i know that i am happy with the fact that i am a changed man...

most importantly i am no longer alone...

but why does my eyes is always on tears....

Tango
Echo
Alpha
Romeo
'
sierra



is it wrong to be greedy when it comes to asking for more love...

asking for more attention...

asking to be care...

and et cetera...









but deep down....since birth...it is my true fate to be surrounded by sadness..loneliness


your safe haven,

abid

Dream

Dear Asylum,


i dream about her. if seeing her in my dream is consider as a meeting than that dream is the first time i felt so real meeting her.

just the thought of her presence that keeps me loving her as if she were in front of me...

sometimes i shed my tears when i miss her too much...

i shed my tears when i dream about her...

i shed my tears whenever i have thought that she no longer want me...need me...or even love me...


if i can't see her...

the next best thing is to dream of her...

don't steal that away from me...

let me dream as much as i want...

i can't bear the feeling if she is not besides me...



your safe haven,

abid

Her

Dear Asylum,

Her is a chosen title for this post. i dedicated this whole piece of writing towards my beloved baby girl.

i still remember the moment we first started to know each others existence when she suddenly knock into my facebook. at that time she was very talkative and seem to have a lot of things in mind. she wanted to share everything with me even though i barely know her. when she start talking it is almost impossible to stop her. she can keep going and going and going until the dawn. during that time my heart says who is this girl? and why does she have such a strong aura to attract me?

p/s my heart is like a stone due to hardship and failure in life and what doesn't kill me make me grew stronger.

from that moment i took an interest towards her, i started browsing through her profile to check on her background and et cetera. that is when i made a bold decision that i want to love her and i want her to love me to.

believe me she is cold, playing hard to get and very unpredictable... but i play it cool and be the gentlemen that i am even though my heart is screaming longing for her to recognize my true feelings.

barrier after barrier i went through and break them... putting my all into stealing her strong yet fragile heart...

when i thought i was falling and failing into getting her...

i ask her the final question...

Do you love me?

i don't like to play games and i am very straight forward when it comes to the things i like and love...

i almost gave up... well... a guy like me don't deserve someone so beautiful and so intelligent like her...

but...

she answer my final question with simplicity and brief...

yes...

just yes..

so simple but yet the word brighten my day...

since than...

i always have her...

and she is always by my side...



p/s i will never leave you...even though we tend to fight over a small things...which can be very huge at the end of the day... please remember this...

i will always love you ab... now and forever... kini dan selamanya...


your safe haven,

abid

the past stays in the past

Dear Asylum,


i simply don't understand why my word of advice always being ignored.
do i look stupid and unworthy to provide a word of guidance.
no matter how much i remind and warn of its effect surely it will be repeated.

please understand the boundaries of certain particular things.
there is a limit to being patient.
stop repeating the same mistake.
it is not something i can hold much longer.
once it can't be contain.
things will take 360 degree of change.
i may lost my senses.

please...
i am tired of being over understanding.
i am tired of being somebodies shadow.

i just want to love and be love...
that is all there is...
no third wheel agenda...

please stop comparing things...
everything are difference and unique...
one may lack something but gifted with other beautiful things...

human feeling are as fragile as cotton candy...
one drop of tears can altered the shape of that sweetness...



yours safe haven,

abid

Shadow

Dear Asylum,



deep within this weak yet strong heart longing for cares and loves...

bare the pain and sorrow in a lonely battle...

am i just a shadow, a puppet, a substitute or a replacement for the old ones...

i may not be a good person entirely...

but i am still human...

naturally get hurt...

feeling sad...

once being neglected of his sensitivity...


yours safe haven,

abid

Night

Dear Asylum,

there's 8,568 night since birth... this one night is the one that i can't sleep...

there's a lot of things that i wanted to say but i can't...

i am so afraid...

when it comes to truly express my real feelings...

i may utter things unnecessarily...

is it real and true...

or is it just rage and anger...


yours safe haven,

abid

WORK

dear asylum,

working or career or having any type of occupation is a compulsory things that an adult must have. the reason for working is that working is the sole provider to the individual if you're married than working is the sole provider to your family.

that is the reason for working...

the reason for working hard is that we are obligated to something, we are obligated toward something, we are obligated to our future planing...

work equal money... no work no money...

money is not everything but everything that we do needs money...

so don't say to me that money can't buy love...

most of the time money is the core to make things such as love happen...

no money... no laptop... no hand phone... no broadband... no internet line... no manja-manja with girlfriend over the phone or internet...

the example is on the very micro scale...

with money we can do everything...

but... doing good

or doing bad things with money...

is your own decision...

don't blame the money...

blame the individual...


your safe haven,


abid

Almost

Dear Asylum,

26th of June 2010 is the day that deserve to be mark and remembered. The day when thousand of sweet and bitter memory past through my mind, the moment i simulated hundred of times how it might happen if i were 1 second late..if 1 second..

my heart stop beating for a second...

the next second it beat so fast... i almost hard a panic attack...

yours safe haven,

abid

No More Robot

Dear Asylum,

All my life none has ever survive, none has ever make me bow down, none has ever make me lost control, none has ever make me wanting to be with her every second, none has ever make me strip down my shield, my ego and show the true me... Only this one girl... one special girl... the one that i can finally said this is it... the one that i can a have a future with... the one that i can share the sweet and bitterness of my world...

the one which i was looking my entire life... Companion, friend and love...


yours safe haven,

abid

happy with you too

Dear Asylum,

something that started by a simple joke and teasing accidentally led myself t her world...


bla..bla..bla..bla....


p/s love you ab


yours safe haven,

abid

Childish

Dear Asylum,

Every so often that loving people makes your I.Q drop a few percentage ( i don't mean it in a bad way)...

People tend to act childish, spoil and sometimes irrationally stupid which is similar to an Ape ( just kidding)...

it's kind of funny that everyone is aware of this phenomenon but unable to stop it from happening as if it's some kind of semi-invisible syndrome...which people simply ignore it..

what the hell am i mumbling in this new post...arggggggggghhhhhhhhh..... im running out of idea.. (writer's block)..

(i need to find my baby girl...ab...ab.....yuhuuuu! where are you??) <---my inspiration...



"....happiness and sadness is part of being in love,

if you can't handle from being sad...

than you don't deserve to be love, to be in love, and to experience love..."


yours safe haven,

abid

The Girl

Dear Asylum,

It is only natural every girl who fall in love will feel insecure about their relationship. the sense of inadequacy overpowered them and very overwhelming that clouded their judgment. there is no such thing as perfection.

love is to love someone unconditionally...

to accept her the way she is...

don't say you're not beautiful... because i always think of you as my angel..

don't say you're a fat... because i find you very attractive the way you are..

dont't say you're not good enough for me... instead... i am the one who always think that i am not

good enough for you...




"loving you is my greatest moment..."


p/s im very sorry if i make you unhappy, sad, upset you, hurt you and etc....


yours safe haven,

abid

Punctuality

Dear Asylum,

Punctuality is consider as a promise which is very sacred thing to be recognize by all individual. if this punctuality is not met, time is wasted and making people wait is beyond what i can say right now ( i reserve my comment)....

so if any of you can't fulfill and meet that required time... don't make any promises..

it's hurtful..

it's disrespectful..

and lastly ..( i keep this one to myself)



yours safe haven,

abid

Memory

Dear Asylum,

Human are a perfect being created by god. the almighty equip us with the ability to think, desire, learn, remember and forget which was the best part and the most beautiful things about us humans.

we tend to forget and be less perfect when living a complacent life. that is why human needed to be reminded.

if we forget... we lost our feelings

if we forget... we don't miss anything

if we forget... we are not obligated to anything

if we forget... we lost our senses to love, to care and to be happy...

that is why i need to emphasize that human need and have to be reminded...

which is why memories are god's greatest gift...

"even when you're gone or far away beyond my reach, i can always feel you in my heart and my mind"



yours safe haven,

abid

TRI-SERVICE

Dear Asylum,

Malaysian Defense system consist of three different service which is the Army, the Navy and the Air Force.

none of the above are more superior than the others. so they depends on each other base on their specialty and advantage.

yours safe haven,

abid

diet, exercise and health

Dear Asylum,

some people are born with different body frame or appearance. and for those who wishes to alter their looks it is either they used the hard way or the high way. the hard way is cheap, painful and it takes time to get the desired result.

the high way is much easier and at the same time it is damn expensive but the result is immediate.

if you ask me, nothing comes easy and if you want something very bad you have to willingly go through the process.

" beauty is pain"

three simple rule : diet, exercise and health


yours safe haven,

abid

Graphic Age

Dear Asylum,

i still remember that particular moment when i was first expose to image editing and simple animation. thanks to one of my closest friends, my roommate and my guru who has thought me on how the stupid me can do something like editing and animation.

the lesson was easy and the way he lay down the concept to me is understandable... and my part is to learn, think creatively and put some effort and initiative...

that is how things get done in our world... nothing come cheap and easy... not all can be spoon feed...

keep a positive mind and broaden our mind with all the possibilities..

never put a limit to our self...

keep exploring and exploiting our ability and talent...



yours safe haven,

abid

Thank you

Dear Asylum,

this is my first post and i think i ought to say thank you to her for making and giving this blog to me. thanks to her also, now i have my personal platform to express my thought, idea and opinion when ever and where ever i may be.

thank you...

p/s i'm having difficulty handling this blog since i've already forgotten most of the function and application...


yours safe haven,

abid